her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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