Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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