I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
