she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize