I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Randomize