It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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