please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
