Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
