I can't watch pbs sober anymore
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
my being single is dangerous.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Randomize
