it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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