Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
