I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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