when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
