we have officially lost it.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
