in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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