did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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