i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
