Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
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