fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
