I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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