I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
