I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
