I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
