girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.