Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.