Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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