My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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