hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
