Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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