your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
