it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
