Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
