Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
