very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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