Midget sex pt 2 tonight
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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