My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
