so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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