Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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