I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
