I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
