My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
