my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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