I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
