I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
