She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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