Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
