Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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