i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
My first STD was from a foam party
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
