butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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