WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
