Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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