Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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