i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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