Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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