so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
