I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
