Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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